Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
