Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
