just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
