So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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