Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
