I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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