Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
