Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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