I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
