my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
