Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
