you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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