Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
