I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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