I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
