I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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