Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
