She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
