what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
