Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
