Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
