i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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