I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
