found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
