who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
