Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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