Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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