You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
