you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
