her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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