You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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