At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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