Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
