He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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