i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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