Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

Fav 28 1435 4191
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'

Fav 23 3554 4326
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.

Fav 25 7177 1402
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(765): View more from Indiana

He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.

Fav 22 2549 1333
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(402): View more from Nebraska

At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.

Fav 3 1646 876
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(434): View more from Virginia

Our room will be decorated with my urine.

Fav 2 745 2083
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work

Fav 6 1366 698
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever

Fav 3 392 646
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(816): View more from Missouri

I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav

Fav 0 39 9
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