And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The adults are the big ones right?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
