piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
