I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
