I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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