Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
