I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
