i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have post one night stand depression
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
