..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
