I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
