He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
