Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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