Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
