Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
