yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
