I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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